Of Azathioprine (aka Imuran), Nausea, Ayurveda, and My Fragile Nerves

I’m now five days into my latest treatment for myasthenia gravis. It’s azathioprine (Imuran). I take it at night a few hours before bedtime. Well, I woke up Saturday morning feeling ok and thought, “Hmm, this isn’t bad. I think we’re going to get along just fine.” Sunday rolled around and a few gentle waves of nausea kicked me around. Nothing a little bit of ginger couldn’t help me overcome. Precious Ginger didn’t ease the issues I started having on the lower end of my GI tract.

Monday morning comes around and I’m preparing to go to Houston to see an Ayurvedic doctor. A tidal wave of nausea hit and another round of runs from the lower tract hit. Panic sets in and I start thinking there’s no way I’m going to make it to Houston!

I was delayed in leaving home by nearly an hour. Things started calming down and I said a Hail Mary and an Om Namaha Shivaya and proceeded with the original plan to see the Ayurvedic doctor.

Miraculously, I was only 15 minutes late! I called her 15 minutes before my appointment time to let her know I was running late. It wasn’t a problem. Another wave of nausea hit just before I arrived at her office. I munched on more ginger and got the system to calm down again. They provided some tea when I arrived, which also helped.

The consultation lasted for nearly 1.5 hours. She did an assessment of me and asked me questions about my health over the years, my parents’ and siblings’ health and my current life in general. It was funny when she started asking me about work. She noted that my demeanor completely changed. That obvious, huh? Oh well, I’m trying desperately to make changes in that area so that I can become my own boss again. Five levels, six if you count the federal people, of bureaucracy above me and each of them changing their mind every 10 minutes affecting everything I work on is just more than I can and am willing to tolerate these days—on top of this evilness named Myasthenia gravis.

Anyway, at the end of my consultation, the doctor gave me a month-long prescription of sorts to help strengthen my constitution so that I can be prepared—perhaps, in a month—to go through a cleansing process called panchakarma. I’ll let you google panchakarma instead of attempting to explain it here. I’ve read about it over the years and know a few people who’ve done it. It was a very life-changing process for them. They both felt much, much better overall afterward. They were not dealing with autoimmune issues like me, but had other issues.

My prescription includes continuing my morning meditations, belly breathing once a day, three cups of non-caffeinated herbal teas, massaging with sesame oil (I prefer mustard oil), and eating yoga. Yes, eating yoga. In other words, being completely mindful of your food while eating it. Zero distractions. Only focus on the food: the texture, where it possibly came from, the taste, how it’s healing/helping each cell in your body. It takes some time to adjust to this eating technique, but so far I like it.

Something like this could really help reboot my poor, rundown system but we have to be careful to not throw me into a myasthenic crisis. She seemed very knowledgeable of my  situation so I do not fear she’ll offer me anything that could harm me. I have to keep a daily record of everything I do and feel. I had already been keeping a daily medical journal for my neurologist. I just have to add the emotional feelings part to it for the Ayurvedic side. I also have to write down 10 incidents or events from the day and note whatever emotion I associate with them. This is challenging. When I finish with the list, I turn the paper over and only write down those that evoked a positive reaction from me. Then I have to shred the paper and throw it away. Yesterday’s list was mostly negative. The day before was more positive. Not sure what tonight’s list will look like so far.

I’m really, really hoping that this new weapon against myasthenia will work for me. I’m quickly running out of options. Even with this realization, I’m trying to remain optimistic, but must admit it’s become more difficult every day that I miss work because of excessive weakness and now severe nausea. I often feel helpless and lost, and of course depressed. A lot of my coworkers are stressed by the monstrous volume of work these days and the lack of pay for it. Stress leads to edginess and mean words and actions. It’s not an environment conducive to productivity. I’ve personally given up on happiness there. I smile, but there’s no happiness behind the smile at all.