May 10, 2013

No work again. Still had fever 101, aches, weakness early this morning.

Fever finally broke around 4:30 p.m. I have not sweated so much at one time ever! Completely drenched! Spent the remainder of the evening drinking water and Gatorade—was terribly thirsty. I told coworkers I had fever but didn’t tell them everything (i.e., how bad was bad). I didn’t mention barely being able to walk for a couple of days because of MG weakness, the terrible head tremors, etc. They wouldn’t get it anyway. I should’ve emailed a pic of how terrible I was looking—uncombed hair, drooping left eye, crooked mouth.

I know I need to not care what others think about me or my abilities. I need to focus on what I can do and do it. I need desperately to take care of me because outside of my parents and a couple of friends, no one is going to come to my aid when I really, really need them—no matter how small the favor or request. I can’t count on it. I will always be an inconvenience to most people or I’ll be the thing they get to when they have time or it’s convenient for them. This is the reason I push myself to do things even when I shouldn’t. When I want something done, I want it done. Period. I will not let anyone chastise me for it. Period. I see through people’s words.

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